Why I think Santa Claus uses ISO9001-2008

So many people I talk to think ISO9001-2008 (formerly ISO9001-2000) is a rather serious, and let’s face it, rather boring topic. I can’t really argue with them, but what I can do is try to enlighten people about how an ISO9001 quality system can truly relate to real life, and can truly improve your business. It doesn’t have to be painful and boring.

I’m always looking for ways to relate ISO9001-2008 with real world situations, and as strange and dorky as this may sound, I try to live my life following some of the basic guidelines of ISO. Truth be told, I lived my life like this way before I ever heard of ISO9001, which is probably one of the reasons why I got into this line of work. Much of ISO9001-2008 is simply common sense and good business practices anyway, and life seems to go more successfully, with less drama, when you follow good practices. But that’s not the purpose of this post.

With Christmas coming up soon, it occurs to me that Santa must have a good quality system. Here are some reasons why:

1. The naughty and nice list should be a controlled document. This list is the deciding factor on what kids get gifts, and which ones get a lump of coal. And of course we’re talking about a list with billions of names. Chaos would surely ensue if this list were not carefully controlled. We don’t want unauthorized reindeer or elves making changes to the list. And Santa absolutely wants to be sure to use the most current copy of the list, as kids can change their behavior over time to try to switch to the “nice” list.

2. Santa’s quality policy? How about “to bring joy to the children of the world”. If you’ve got a better one, please let us know.

3. Santa’s quality objectives? 100 percent of the kids of the world (well, the ones who believe in Santa anyway) get a visit from Santa. 100 percent of Santa’s visits must be completed on Christmas morning. The reindeer department performance must be 100 percent, but only for one day of the year. In the toy-making department, the quantity of toys produced must match the number of names on the “nice” list, with zero deviation. Too few toys will result in lower customer satisfaction. Too many toys produced is inefficient and wasteful, detracting from the bottom line.

I can only guess that all of Santa’s toys are produced in house, with no outside services provided. But if the North Pole uses outside vendors to purchase products or services, I’m sure Santa would have an approved vendor list, and an effective method of ensuring that vendors provide sufficient quality goods in a timely manner. Again, we want to make sure customer satisfaction continually improves.

Similar Posts:

2 Responses to “Why I think Santa Claus uses ISO9001-2008”

  1. Peter S says:

    Hi, i am a QA tet manager and I want to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading your article. It made me laugh and I so wish i could say the same for ISO in general, as I’ve become tired of it in my company but you defo made me rethink it.

  2. Excelente en ejemplo de porque Santa Claus usa ISO 9001:2008. Estoy segura que si lo hace y por eso sus resultados son 100% excelentes.

Leave a Reply